October 2003
  Social Scene

HELLO THERE, SWEETIES! not many good parties this month except for the STONES PHOTO EXHIBIT where my new best friend LILIBET, who works for a photographer, introduced me to some London types who were quite nice for once.

The VERSACE party was quite good where I met another bleached blonde who had ODd on plastic surgery. This woman ANGIE ALLI SOMETHING is a property woman and has a TROUT POUT exactly like LESLEY ASH's. This ANGIE said she had hers done by some woman called SALLY in HARLEY ST. but she likes her own mouth looking like a guppy fish. Some people on the SOCIAL SCENE are just weird.

I heard that a certain freebie mag editor was well p...d off because that ghastly TV show CHELSEA TALES didn't credit her as the organiser of the fashion show at THE COLLECTION which I wrote about. She should be well pleased as that Chelsea Tales woman ANNA-MARIA BIKINI described it on the air as "the most disorganised show I've ever seen." Well my spy on that show said that TIGER ASPECT were a real shower of you know what, not even paying expenses and their crew sponging food, drink and petrol off the rich Chelsea types they were interviewing. Serves them right if they are so desperate to get on TV, doesn't it, sweeties, we couldn't care less, could we, because we are real socialites and don't need to advertise.

What does that BRITNEY SPEARS think she looks like? Someone that stocky with those bandy short legs shouldn't wear rude-iculous clothes. Who is her stylist? Probably the US equivalent of that awful FIONA DE ROSY, the English one who sent my best mate to the JAMES BOND premiere looking like a clown.

MICHAEL JACKSON can get away with it because he's quite tall and really skinny. I recently went to a good bash at THE RENAISSANCE CHANCERY LANE HOTEL where JACKSON stays. It's quite nice actually and they showed me the suite which he uses. The party was for some charity and there were lots of topless model types there who were very forgettable, well, I cant remember any of their names anyway. They just spent their time being rude to photographers, as if they were somebody but they are all nobodies.

I am off to CANNES now you know for a really nice party at the weekend and maybe to meet some nice new chappos who knows. I will let you know if I meet any real honeys next month so don't forget to tune in, sweet peas. Till then this is your little old Social Editor signing off and putting on my party dress for LONDON FASHION WEEK where there are going to be lots of good parties and I will tell you all about them next month. till then coo eee.

Yours regally

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