April 2004
  Social Scene

Daaarlings, how are you all? It’s me and my hairdresser doing the works this month, say hello to Joseph!

Goodness gracious me I had no idea how much time it takes to put a gossip column together, I mean it’s work darlings, and my hairdresser, bless his cotton Armani socks, has had to do a visit this month and fix my curls whilst I’m typing away trying to get this to our editor. A girl has to have some time to herself.

We’re all so sad us girlies because Sex and the City has ended, ended ended! How I shall miss Samantha’s antics, and that dishy stud of a toy boy of hers, and with no hair and chemo, it just doesn’t happen in real life darlings………

But I have to say that Carrie was such a whimpo in Paris. How could she let that dreadful Russian charm her into leaving her party to hold his crinkled hand? Really, I felt like throwing one of my Manolo shoes at the screen. They really should not have let her play such a let-down part in the last show. Thank goodness Mr Big came along to save her, now that’s what I call a man!  

OK, Joseph! That’s my hairdresser…ooops, stylist he says, tugging at my curls. He’s a queer as a five bob note, his words darlings.. I’m not gay bashing, I love my gay friends, and Joseph wears the most adorable clothes. In fact he’s also my companion on shopping sprees, when I can get him away from some of those dragon ladies he has as clients….more champagne Boris!!! That’s my houseman.

You wanted a picture of me, I know but I refuse unless I make the front cover. My editor says I need to get some plumpy lips, cheeky girl that she is. But maybe she has a point. 

What do you think Joseph?

No comment!

OK, that’s it then… botex it is. Is there a darling sweetie person in Harley Street or near by that will let me have a sample go?

Oh dear, this is not going well darlings, I have to leave because Joseph is having a drama. More champagne Boris……..

Yours regally


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