December 2004 - January 2005

Last month was a lively little number. Starting with the biggest London premiere of the month; Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason. Though many critics have rightly panned this sequel of Bridget Jones for being a bit lame and far fetched, - Bridget drug smuggling in Thailand..teaching Thai prisoners to sing Madonna's 'Like A Virgin..oh pleeeease!- there seems to be a lot of people willing to pay for Andrew Davies's weak script. The premiere itself was attended by cast members RENEE ZELLWEGER, who was remarkably thin, worryingly so. Though its amazing how she has been able to shed so much weight after looking like a shed for the film- COLIN FIRTH, HUGH GRANT and HELEN FIELDING who wrote the novel. Other celebs present included: JEMIMA GOLDSMITH -ex-KHAN, and Hugh's girlfriend- OZZY OSBOURNE with wife SHARON and a sprinkling of the perennial d-listers. The after-party at Tobacco Dock in east London was spacious enough to keep the cigarette fumes slightly less lethal whilst still being able to taste the lovely champagne.

Renee Zellweger

Still in the premiere trail, it was the turn of PIERCE BROSNAN to come and plug his latest effort: 'After The Sunset'. The premiere in Leicester square London was a somewhat low key event as they did not even have a red carpet, or any other carpet. Not even a bath mat. Zilch. Still this flik about a jewel thief -yes another one- has a predictable storyline, -so no jewel there- though PIERCE BROSNAN -as Max Burdett- plays a good role as a sophisticated crook. SALMA HAYEK, on the other hand, though a very talented actress is consigned to a dodgy part that does not do her justice. OK it does us justice as every other shot shows the gorgeous Salma half naked or tight clothing with her bosom about to explode. Nice. Brit actress NAOMIE HARRIS plays a reasonably good part -though will not exactly light up Hollywood- as the local cop 'Sophie'. This film by Paul Zbyszewski and Craig Rosenberg though shot on great locations shows promise but delivers no real punch. A must see for SALMA HAYEK fans though.

Pierce Brosnan and cast member Naomie Harris

You may have seen yours truly in a 3 part program called PAPARAZZI -Mondays 9pm and repeated on Tuesdays AND Wednesdays each week!!- on BBC 3. Well look, though a documentary on our agency Big Pictures, It shows me in 'character' as it were 'honest'. A lot of things that I said, I said under duress as I had the producer pointing a gun at my head. Alright, it turned out to be a vodka bottle -or too much vodka-. Cheapskates LOADED Magazine - where my first scene was shot - could not afford my customary Krug. It goes on BBC 1 in January so I may leave the country for a little while...

SHASSAM! BEYONCE KNOWLES turned up in London for a record signing. OK, I should really say DESTINY'S CHILD, but lets face we were all really interested in BEYONCE KNOWLES pictures. Whithout BEYONCE, DESTINY'S CHILD has no destiny whatever. The girls reunited to promote their new single called..oh whatever I forgot. No really, I forgot the name of the record. This uber event was staged at the wonderful VIRGIN MEGASTORE where I buy ALL my music CD's. Even if I'm on a shoot in Mauritius I will fly back to buy ALL my CD's at the VIRGIN MEGASTORE in Picadilly London. Yes, crap selection in Mauritius, but you get my point. The crowds had been waiting since 6 A.M. and when the girls eventually arrived at the store at 5 P.M. there where thousands crammed outside on the pavement...They've still got it.

Destiny's Child

And last but not least, model beauty SOPHIE ANDERTON has escaped to Australia to be imprisoned with a group of e-celebs in the jungle for a T.V. program called: 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!' Trouble is they forgot the celebrities. Apart from Sophie that is. Well, Sophie has been through the mill of drink, drugs, attempted suicide -as has been extensively reported in the press- and the rest! So its great to see the progress she has made and that it also shows that some drugs could be good for erm, the skin. I did a shoot with her recently and as you can see in my photo she looked superb. Go Sophie!

Sophie Anderton

Happy Festive Season and New Year you lot. See you in my next installment February 2005.

Over and out.


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(Copyright Joe Alvarez 2004)
All pics copyright Joe Alvarez

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